my 2025 recap
what a year.
it’s late december, the night is cooling and there’s nothing left to do in the day except rest. what a good time to sit down with a warm beverage and look back on the past year, right?
a lot has happened this year, and i think i’ll only be able to do the events justice if i broke it down into months. here we go.
january: started the year off sick, then fell sick again right before my group counselling practical test. i got through the practical session and immediately changed gears to present about terrorism in my deviant behaviour and rehabilitation class. spent a good amount of time working on assignments and running regularly. texted d on imessage, apologising for the way things ended between us. the conversation ended with an “issok”. i also requested his instagram again (thanks to an unknown force of courage — i had a lot of those) but as expected he left me on requested. overall, i’d give this month a 7/10.
february: was quite a stressful month, dealing with two examinations that were two days apart. my grandmother passed away the morning after i rushed to see her at the hospital from school after my first exam. i felt numb for two whole days and i couldn’t seem to focus on my study material for health psychology. it felt so ironic that i was studying how to improve one’s quality of life when one was gone and i couldn’t do anything about it. i headed to her funeral right after my health psychology exam and had five late nights with my family in a white shirt and blue pants before bidding her a tearful goodbye. i’d rate this month a 2/10 — stress and sadness do not go well with each other.
march: i had a fruitful holiday, spending time with my friends and working to earn some extra cash. my friends and i worked as event staff for a navy competition held in my school and we stood for 13 hours. i had catered food for all three of my meals and i was getting sick of that. we also met a really pretty and inspirational navy woman and spent dinner time talking to her about our student life and future aspirations. i also started to focus more on self-care, and started taking pilates classes and cooked more often. my aunt delivered her baby that month, so we got to meet her and the cute little girl. i went on several solo dates this month, visiting bookstores and eating good food. the air quality here was bad enough it triggered my allergic rhinitis and made me breathless with even the smallest of movements. i felt like i was dying but hey i’m still here! definitely an 7/10.
april: i continued my holiday schedule for another two weeks before the new semester started. once again i started to feel stressed and an overwhelming need to perform better than i did for the previous semester, with growing anxiety that i might not make the cut for university. i also discovered the kpop group TWS, which made me feel so loved and happy. their music was on repeat from the moment i got into them. not long after, i experienced a really strong wave of burnout that i would associate to the disappointment and helplessness i felt when i was allocated a major project topic that i ranked as least interested. it felt like the world just didn’t want me to succeed in this path i chose. i cried multiple times that day, but felt slightly better after collecting my pottery and buying myself a bunch of baby’s breath to place inside the vase i made. overall, this month was a 4/10.
may: burnout overwhelmed this month for me. i was struggling mentally, but still had to appear for classes and work on my assignments. i truly felt unmotivated and helpless, wondering if working hard ever made a difference in my fate. i made sure to not let my struggle show on my face. thankfully, i looked towards TWS and DAY6 for emotional support. their music gave me enough strength throughout the train journeys to school and back. my close friends surprised my other friend and i in school after class, which was really touching. i also celebrated my birthday at the end of the month with my family. the fact that it was my birthday month gives may a rating of 6/10.
june: had a midterm break, so i took the opportunity to get outside more and explore my country on my mother’s bike. i also got back into crocheting, and made quite a few cute jellyfish with beautiful blue yarn. i usually woke up to a pair of chickens squawking from 7am that month. i continued to explore different ingredients and recipes, and even made my first tomato pasta! i also found an udon recipe that’s homey and convenient to throw together. my burnout was slowly getting better, although i did have days where i felt really bad about myself and everything. i had the best sunday on the 23rd when i watched TWS’s concert on weverse after completing my assignments. i purposely went off social media from the day of their first performance until the day of the concert session i bought a ticket for, and it was SO worth it. i guessed all but one of their songs on the setlist right. i felt happy for the first time in a long while. a solid 8/10.
july: most of my time was occupied by school and assignments, so nothing interesting happened. we had a group project that required some acting, so we had a good laugh at my friend’s house as we filmed. i wore a blue and white striped t-shirt dress and i swore never to wear that again (it was so ugly on me). i met up with a secondary school friend of mine and caught up after a long time being apart. i also attended an open house for the family justice court with my friends and had many rounds of tofu. i also said goodbye to my burnout, once and for all. this month was an 8/10.
august: the weather got chillier, and we were approaching the end of the semester. more time was spent on finalising group projects, revising for exams and catching up with lecture material. this was the month of group presentations and final exams, and rehearsing for the presentations with my friends felt super bittersweet — it was our last time presenting as a team in school. i also made sure to manage my stress well by taking walks and treating myself to soy bean milk. it felt so weird to say that we were done with the syllabus, done with our student life here in school after we finished the last exam we would ever take as polytechnic students. we celebrated by having an outing to IKEA for dinner and a long yap session. i also fell heavily sick in the last two weeks of august, i probably caught my cold from the friend i met up with after dealing with a week of headaches…this month still deserves a 6.5/10.
september: endured the first week of the month by downing lots of fluids, hoping to get better before i had to fly to korea for my trip. thank the heavens i miraculously recovered in time, and i had the best 9 days exploring korea with my family. i ate so much good food there i still think about them now, and i was able to communicate with the locals in korean, which was a huge feat for me. after returning back home my stomach started giving me issues again thanks to the amount of bread i consumed, but i bounced back within a few days. korea made this month a solid 10/10, even with the crazy cold i battled.
october: started the month strong by starting my internship on the first week of october. it felt so weird to be reporting to work instead of going to school, especially since my workplace was my school’s research centre. i spent some time adjusting to my new routines, and got used to answering multiple emails in a single day. work came at any time, so even during lunch i’d glance at my phone on instinct, willing it to not light up with a notification from my supervisor. work threw me a lot of new challenges, but i was able to work through every one of them. i felt burnout seeping back in when i had to return to office almost five days a week for three consecutive weeks — i think i’m not one for the office. i also met up with my friends for the first time in a long while after intern started to catch up. this month was a 7/10.
november: the pace of work has slowed down after the rush to check and send out surveys, so the workload became more manageable. the work given to me got me to learn a bit of coding and better understand the world of excel, which was confusing as hell but surely beneficial in the long run. i spent more time with my family too, and mostly worked from home this month. i also visited universal studios for my dad’s family day with my cousins, and finally overcame my fear of roller coasters. i survived human everyone!!! i screamed so much my throat started hurting but the thrill was there. this was a good month. probably a 7/10.
december: intern work continued as usual, and i was getting more used to life as an employee. i was also granted two weeks leave this month, considering i started two weeks earlier than the rest of my batchmates. i went on a family holiday with my extended family, and had a really good time exploring and being in their presence. i also fell sick there, thanks to some of my family members being sick too, and i’m currently trying to overcome this sickness as soon as i can. the weather was so hot this month, which was surprising considering it was cool, rainy and windy this time of year last year. i had been thinking about d on and off for quite some time, but i came to realise that i missed the idea i had of him, not who he was right now. after returning from the trip, i can say confidently that i’m over him for good now. i searched up his instagram for the funzies a while back, and i found myself feeling happy that he seemed happy in his profile picture. it was surprising, considering how long i was stuck in this unsettling sadness on and off ever since i decided to cut him off april last year. i’m really proud of myself for that. this month was full of self-reflection and realisation, so it’s definitely a 10/10.
i can’t wait to see what 2026 has in store for me. while i can never be sure, i just hope that i’ll fall sick less often and achieve my hopes and dreams. this year was definitely not all happy — it was filled with more negativity and sadness actually. i was also gifted with surprises and unexpected situations, which i guess mellowed out the negativity. this year was full of learning and self-discovery, and it’s with that that i say i’m able to send off 2025 and welcome 2026 with a clean slate.
i’m still me, but i’ll be better, braver, and bolder in 2026.
no more crushes, please… men can wait.
feeling like i just met you and learned who you are so intrinsically that i feel like i just know you now— i know this isn't meant to be for anyone but yourself but i genuinely think the way you reflect is so relateable and happy new year <3